“Wasn’t I Good Enough?”

Untangling the Lies of Infidelity

 

One of the most heartbreaking questions betrayed partners ask is:

• “What did I do wrong?”
• “Wasn’t I good enough?”
• “How could my partner give up everything for someone else?”

These questions come from a place of deep pain. It’s natural to wonder if the affair happened because of some personal failing, or because the affair partner was somehow better.

But here’s the truth: infidelity is almost never about you.

An affair is about what was happening inside the unfaithful partner’s mind, their selfishness, their unmet ego needs, their temporary escape. It is not about your worth, your value, or your beauty.

Yes, the cheater may even tell you that you weren’t enough. They may believe it themselves at the time. But those words are not truth, they are the distorted justifications of someone caught in the fog of betrayal.

Affairs thrive on lies: lies the unfaithful tell themselves, lies they tell their partner, and lies the betrayed begins to internalise. The most dangerous lie is the one that says: “I wasn’t enough.”

That is not your truth.

Healing requires separating reality from the cheater’s justifications. With courage, time, and support, you can reclaim the knowledge that the betrayal says nothing about your value. Your worth is not diminished by someone else’s broken choices.