About

by | Mar 14, 2016

Hi, I’m Dee Tozer, welcome!
Across 3 decades on my quest to help couples find relief from heartache and get back to love in a timely and speedy way I have sought out teachings from the great world experts in Couples Therapy. This has equipped me to now pivot to an effective coaching and mentoring approach to guiding Couples towards a sustainable long lasting close togetherness. Having guided more than 4,700 couples, over 94% of my couples have reported a positive outcome and I have seen what embracing the joy of camaraderie does to revitalize a marriage. Over 2,000 of these couples came to me in crisis due to an infidelity, with 96% of those reporting they were better than they had been for a very long time and that this was still going very well 2 years after they finished their package with me.

YOUR  ACCELERATED REPAIR WILL SHIFT YOU BOTH:

* From crisis TO connection.

* From devastated TO feeling soothed, settled, and sure that there is a new way to live and thrive.

* From the sickening ball of dread in the pit of your stomach TO restoring your marriage to rekindled love, self-care, and wholeness.

* From feeling distraught and in disbelief TO finally embracing an acceptance about the betrayal and claiming a new sense of normality in        your life.

* From overwhelmingly confused and consumed by your intense feelings that sway between anger and numbness, crying uncontrollably and forgetting what you went to the fridge for or how you drove from home to the store TO feeling like you can string a sentence together without crying as you begin to sense that deep strength that resides within you.

* From forgetting when to eat, sustaining yourself on junk foods (or maybe alcohol or pills), feeling like the blinds are down on your life    because the grief of what’s going on is so all consuming TO calm self confidence.

* From feeling extreme rage and anger to the point where you’ve lost connection with your basic needs TO softening back into your loving self and fostering a deeper level of peace, personal power, and resilience.

* From blaming yourself for what’s gone on and equally not blaming yourself TO realizing that your partner has made choices about behavior too.

* From panicking and distraught about the potential family break up, the home you might lose, the significant assets and savings that could disappear, uncertainty about where your future is, and who can help you TO surefooted and accepting reconnection with the partner you love.

TO SAFELY BRING YOU OUT OF YOUR CRISIS I WILL:

* Guide you to the safe shores of trusting again.

* Hold your hand for your every wobbly step towards healing.

* Be your rock while you become each other’s rock again.

* Show you the way to the other side of this agony.

* Provide a blame free, no judgment, and safe haven to build a closeness between the two of you, which you’ve possibly never had or haven’t had for quite some time..

WHY WORK WITH ME:

HERE’S WHAT I WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT THE WAY I WORK WITH YOU.

  • Across more than 30 years I have guided over 2,000 couples to heal from deepest hurt from infidelity, betrayal, cheating. Whether it was as simple as online messaging or as complex as a long term affair I guide you to re-connect, and transform your relationship to one that thrives.
  • I focus on providing a no judgement, safe haven where you can unburden yourself from the pain and anguish you and your spouse are suffering.
  •  I take a psychological education approach to create solid foundations by sharing a deep and broad knowledge in this complex area of couples in crisis.
  • I aim to provide a balanced mix of couples’ transformation strategies, uplifting mindset shift coaching and actions specific to you, which will show you how to realign and rewire your relationship and life.
  • The depth of your pain, and possibly trauma, is fully understood as is the support and specific guidance you need to experience relationship breakthroughs which bring you into a new relationship that thrives.

Over these 30 years many, many of the people who came to see me for help with anxiety or depression, were actually caught up in conflict with their mate and it became clear that if I could help couples build a safe and sound emotional life together then anxiety and depression were significantly decreased and often disappeared. Hence my passion was ignited.

Most couples in distress have the following stuff going on: it might be put downs, hurtful words, angry reactions, vitriolic statements, raised voices, or even hurtful silences or walk aways. There could be trust issues, jealousy, dominance and control or competitiveness. All of these threaten the emotional security of one or both partners and a fight or flight response usually occurs. Which means that one partner or both, will either fight, or flee the situation….that is walk away….or eventually leave…or seek comfort and love from someone else.

The Fight or Flight response is the basis of our self protective behaviour as human beings. The same goes for most animals who, when under threat from a predator, and their immediate survival is at stake, have to make an instantaneous decision to either stand up and fight the predator off, or flee from the danger. With couples relationship conflict it boils down to the same instinctive fight or flight response. However as humans in a love relationship we don’t usually bolt away in the other direction at the first sign of trouble, instead we put up all manner of defenses and attacks to protect ourselves which, if kept up for too long, eventually fracture the relationship and it falls apart.

Hence over many many years my role as a couples counsellor and most recently “coach” has evolved to provide couples with the learnings, understandings and skills which teach them:

  • how to soothe each other and keep loving feelings alive
  • how to recognize the cry for reassurance from their spouse
  • how to break the resentment cycle
  • how to remove the threat of break up and loss of family and loved ones
  • how to dissolve the pain of feeling unloved or unloveable
  • how to express concerns and talk to each other without destructive ridicule & on-going criticism and conflict

My starting point is to create the safe place for this couple to begin expressing their concerns in a non-threatening, non-judgmental, warm and friendly setting. Whether it be in person in my counseling rooms, on line, or via my online courses you will feel heard and understood as I talk about the feelings you are probably experiencing which is what brought you to my page. The first session will put you at ease and help you find the initial steps towards sorting things out. Most often taking this first step starts to alleviate the overwhelming pain and you can see light at the end of the tunnel.

Typically it takes a program of 90 days either in person or online to turn you and your mate around. Oh, can I hear you saying wow, that’s a short time frame, I thought couples therapy would take months and months!

I know how time pressured life is these days so I have developed an on-line course of 8 sessions which may provide you with everything you need to get back on track. You can work through the sessions in the comfort of your home at times to suit your schedule. It is priced to give you great value for a moderate spend. You can take a quick look here and see if it is for you:  Fastrelationshiprescue program.

Infidelity Counselling Psychologist

Trust Dee Tozer as Your Marriage Counselling Psychologist

Finding the right marriage counselling psychologist is critical to the health of your relationship. If you and your spouse are struggling with certain aspects of your relationship, I can help. My name is Dee Tozer, and I am an experienced marriage counsellor and Psychologist. My goal is to help you come to a better place in your marriage. Whether you are in Melbourne and can attend in person, or you are interstate and can join online, I am here to help.

Key Questions to Ask Dee Tozer as a Marriage Counsellor

If you have never seen a relationship psychologist in Sydney before, you may have questions for me either before or during our appointment. Examples of questions that I get from my clients include:

  • How many sessions will we need? It’s impossible to predict how many sessions you and your spouse will need to resolve your marital problems. You can rest assured, however, that I will continue to work with both of you for as long as it takes to get you to a better place, in both your life and in your relationship.
  • Are there things that I can do outside of our sessions to improve my marriage? If you would like more tools that can help you continue to improve your marital relationship, you can download my four e-books or take advantage of free resources. Absorbing this information in your spare time will only help to reinforce the lessons that you’re learning during counselling.
  • What is included in your Relationship Master Workshop? My Relationship Master Workshop is five hours long and includes access to three of my online courses indefinitely as well as an individual session with me.

If you still have questions regarding what you can expect during a session, I encourage you to contact me. I make myself available to address your concerns so that you can feel more comfortable during your session.

Tips for Getting More Value out of a Relationship Psychologist in Brisbane

As a trusted relationship therapist in Melbourne, I help my clients make the most out of their time with me during their appointments. Here are a few recommendations to keep in mind.

  • Arrive on time: I do everything that I can to work with my clients and book appointments around their schedules. I ask that all clients arrive on time for their appointments. This policy is in place so that you can take full advantage of your session, and so that our work doesn’t negatively impact your day or mine. If you need to change your appointment, just contact me so that we can make adjustments.
  • Keep an open mind: Remember, if you come to your appointment with the mindset that your spouse is the only person who has to change, you may find yourself frustrated with the results of your session. I always recommend to my clients that they maintain an open mind and heart during each appointment in the hope of developing a better understanding of both the issues and their partner.
  • Ask questions: Although parts of your session will involve listening to your spouse and myself, as a relationship psychologist in Brisbane, I urge each client to be an active participant in counselling. Do you have a question regarding something that I said? Would you like to express your feelings following something that your spouse shared? I do everything that I can to help you feel comfortable enough to make your voice heard so that you and your spouse can have an honest dialogue.

What You Stand to Gain from Dee Tozer

Don’t wait another day to take steps toward reigniting the spark in your relationship. Contact me today to learn about your appointment options.

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