10 Relationship Hacks to Help your Partnership Endure
Find out the 10 best relationship hacks that can help your partnership – but cost you nothing! The latest article on relationship hacks is from Dee Tozer, Couples Coach providing Brighton Relationship Repair and Rescue Coaching sessions – in-depth Marriage Counselling. Private counselling is available, convenient to Bayside suburbs from Port Melbourne to Sandringham, convenient to South Yarra, Malvern, Glen Eira and Glen Waverley and inner eastern Melbourne suburbs including Richmond, Kew and Toorak; to help you heal the rifts in your marriage and prevent you from heading for a nasty divorce, even if it currently seems inevitable. Expertise with high-profile couples | guaranteed session privacy on arrival and departure.
Relationship Hacks – Why bother?
In my view, with the thousands of couples I helped restore and heal their marriages, most marriages CAN be saved — or in today’s terms, repaired and healed.That’s why I call my counselling program for marriages on the rocks “getting back to love” (get back to love) — only it’s a new place, a richer, more solid place for most of the couples I help.
However, there’s a caveat.
Saving your relationship | Preventing a Divorce – what it takes
Relationships can only be healed as long as both partners are willing to give it their genuine efforts; put in the time and focus required (patience is a must), and take the counselling sessions seriously, as a real opportunity to save their marriage from a terrible break-up destined to incur damages to their social structures, families/children’s well-being or consistent housing arrangements, financial structure, psyche and lifestyle.
The thing about relationship hacks is that they can offer so much, yet cost so little — literally, they often cost nothing! Except, of course…an attitude shift. A willingness.
A movement from anger and resentment into seeing your partner as the imperfect human all humans are; without negating responsibility, but without putting all the blame on your partner for anything — or everything — that’s disrupted the happiness in the relationship.
It’s the little things that often count the most in a relationship; and in today’s blog, I’ll go into some of the key aspects healthy relationships have…and what’s often missing in relationships heading for divorce.
Sometimes it’s when the sex stops due to having babies, lack of sleep, or even boredom. Or overworking. Or different work schedules.
Other times the fall-out in a marriage stems from disagreements about finances, or about raising the children. Even where to go on holiday — or how to decorate the living room.
At other times, its something more serious – like an affair (read the blog about recovering your self-esteem after surviving infidelity).
Often, however, relationship breakdowns are a complex event stemming from a series of chain reactions.
There may or may not be infidelity; but distance, bitterness, arguments, dismissiveness, and/or frequent fighting are signs something’s amiss in the primary relationship, so the partner seeks that from another person — or is unwilling to put their best foot forward to mend the rift.
So can you avoid your partner cheating?
Or get your relationship back on track after a break-down or impasse? Connect with me fast Book Your Call With Me
Here are 10 Relationship Hacks that help your relationship endure — and cost you nothing.
Certainly cheaper than a divorce, and far less painful to implement — these tips are easy to use and can have a powerful influence on marital satisfaction, if done from the heart, and with positive intent (which is actually one of the relationship hacks).
Read on to discover the top 10 Relationship Hacks to keep your marriage thriving.
RELATIONSHIP THINGS/HACKS THAT COST YOU NOTHING …but require an attitude shift and a positive mindset.
Hack #1: Pay attention
- How easy it is to fall into a pattern of taking your partner for granted, like a piece of the furniture.
- Even the dog(s) or cat(s) get more attention (okay, that’s probably normal in pet-friendly households, but your partner should be up there, high on the attention focus level).
- In fact, attention is one of the strongest signs of love.
- Attention can be: noticing when your partner does something different, listening respectfully to their interests or opinions without trying to overlay it with your own ‘superior’ viewpoint or opinion (one of the most common problems in a relationship where one partner thinks they’re superior to another and expresses it vocally, or in other ways) — remember, we’re all human – your partner may not be perfect, but you’re not either — no blame, just stay realistic!
Hack #2: Be patient
- It’s easy to become impatient with a partner, so this one requires a mindset shift.
- Being patient is also a sign of love….
- With patience comes tolerance with co-operative give and take
Hack #3: Be friendly
- Even on your worst of days, be friendly!
- That means not turning into a grump even when you come home and the cat or dog’s thrown up on the carpet, the kids left an expensive electronics toy in the rain (or laundry basket), and worse!
Hack #4: Be kind
- Kindness is an attitude that starts within.
- If you’re not kind and self-loving to yourself, get some personal therapy so you can learn this art — it’s crucial to a long-term relationship.
- Once you have a solid grasp of being kind to yourself you can then be kind to your spouse.
Hack #5: Be gentle
- Perhaps you come from a direct culture, where you speak bluntly — or you love to tell people what they’re doing wrong.
- Again, if you’re nature is rough or harsh and you’re not gentle or kind, chances are high your relationships will fail; or your partner could have an affair with someone who values their feelings more – or is more sensitive.
- Gentleness is a loving trait; treat your relationship with gentle care — as all relationships, even sturdy ones, are fragile if you’re overly rough in your approach.
- Feedback needs to be handled very delicately and with love (see being intentional, below).
Hack #6: Be understanding
- Remember that everyone is human, you included, and your spouse especially.
- But the more understanding you are about your partner, the more you can be the ideal partner and the happier your relationship can be — so long as both are commited to it.
Hack #7: Be positive
- Negative people drive others away.
- If you’re pessimistic and negative, you should seek professional help as this likely signifies an underlying depression or unresolved loss; and it can impact your relationships for life.
- Sure, not everyone is born with a really optimistic mindset – but often, negativity and pessimism are learned, and in a sense, defense traits. Get help before you end up needing the help of a divorce lawyer …yet again!
Hack #8: Be caring
- Be empathetic – put yourself in your partner’s shoes
- Find little things to do, or plan, to help lighten your partner’s load or make them laugh and feel loved and appreciated (and seen and heard)!
Hack #9: Be intentional
- Recognise that everything we do has, at its base, intention.
- We may or may not be consciously aware of it — or want to admit it — but intention is behind all we say, think and do.
- Learn to be intentional towards bringing love, warmth, respect, empathy, laughter and friendliness into your relationship.
Hack #10: Be respectful and affirming – not condescending and superior.
- Be respectful at all times — treat your partner as the highly valued person you knew them to be when you first married — and yes, they may have made mistakes — so, too, have you.
- Get help to resolve unmitigated conflicts or impasses.
- Don’t act or believe you’re superior to your partner; because you are not. Be their equal and treat them with love and care.
There are times a marriage has run its course (although often it’s a breakdown that could be remedied by the right type of couples coaching and/or marriage counselling). connect with me FAST Book Your Call With Me
Sometimes discussing what’s not working in a relationship feels too hard, or too painful. If a partner checks out emotionally, they may still stay in the marriage, but be seeking partnership elsewhere. The best course of action in this scenario, and in the other scenario’s above, is to invest in professional counselling rather than a divorce lawyer (‘dead money’).
That’s because most marriages came together from a state of love, attraction, great sex and emotional intimacy. If a couple had it once, no matter how far they’ve strayed from having that, it can be healed if both partners are willing to give it a try and make the effort(s) required.
My programs help couple’s avoid those expensive, nasty divorces and difficult family separations that can wreak havoc on businesses, careers, family structures, social networks and everyone’s emotional well-being. So don’t call that divorce lawyer… try counselling. Try six months, and if it doesn’t work (my experienc is that over 80% of the time it WILL work if you’re both willing to put the effort in and share your insights), then at least you’ll have a more amicable parting. But as a couple’s coach, I’ve seen so many people throw away a marriage, or have an affair, instead of repairing and healing what’s gone wrong between them. It doesn’t have to be that way. Book a free call today to see how I can help.Book Your Call With Me
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