2. Opportunity – work or social connection

3. The overwhelming temptation of the thrill of being awakened as a sexual being

Being wanted by another person awakens the sexual being in all of us…it’s partially due to how we’re wired, as humans, given our hormones.Book Your Call With Me

4. Feeling re-connected to their inner feminine essence – which has been suppressed by domesticity and /or family.

Sometimes being a mother or wife feels like being a doormat. Catering to everyone else, and feeling invisible. But with a new lover, that sense of femininity awakens. It’s much like #3, above, but slightly different in that it’s more about how the affair makes a person feel about herself, as a human being, and sensual/sexual person. Book Your Call With Me

5. Raw pleasure

Sometimes an affair begins simply because it feels good. It’s primarily physical, and may or may not have been lacking in the primary relationship, and often has no emotional entanglement.

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6. Feeling like they are undervalued at home; feeling like they don’t matter at home

This is a big one, and is usually part of why a women (or man) has an affair. When a person feels undervalued, or invalidated, the natural human tendency is either despair and depression — or seeking that validation and respect elsewhere. Book Your Call With Me

7. Feeling disconnected at home (or feeling lonely)

Too often, marriages become ‘arrangements’ — almost a business type of arrangement, or like house mates co-existing….not lovers and spouses. In this scenario, women feel unheard and unseen. They crave affection and attention, and are vulnerable to an affair where suddenly those needs are being met by someone outside of the marriage.Book Your Call With Me

8. Feeling oppressed at home

Everyone needs to have a voice that gets heard and validated. In fact, acknowledgement is a serious need of humans and well recognised on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

If the primary partner is dismissive, it’s the equivalent of oppression.

NO one wants to feel subservient or disrespected. If one partner (husband or same sex partner) is “always right” or puts down the thoughts or feelings of the wife (or same-sex partner), that person is going to be drawn to others who do NOT oppress them, and who respect and validate their opinions. Book Your Call With Me

9. Being too many things to too many people

Sometimes affairs and infidelity just occur out of the need for a release from the pressure of meeting everybody else’s needs. Someone comes along that striked a bond, and it’s merely that the stress of life has created a need for an outlet, an escape, of being too many things to too many people (not feeling they are their own people/own individual selves). Book Your Call With Me

10. No sex, no intimacy, no affection at home

Let’s be honest; when a marriage becomes sexless, when there’s very little physical intimacy, often (but not always) emotional intimacy is also missing — and the relationship’s in trouble.

This can lead to an affair, not because of the lack of physical arousal or pleasure — but for the lack of the sense of affection that physical intimacy, and emotional intimacy, brings.

These aren’t the only ;reasons but they are common reasons I’ve seen when helping couples heal and resolve their relationship challenges.

And nearly any relationship (not all, but well over 90% can be saved with the right approach at the right time, if both parties see the value in avoiding the pain and high costs of divorce.

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Marriage Counselling by one of the most experienced Relationship Counsellors in Melbourne, Psychologist Dee Tozer.