Many relationship difficulties arise from what’s called ‘Relationship blindspots.’
These blind-spots can destroy your marriage. If you’ve ever heard the catch phrase, “you don’t KNOW what you DON’T know” — this is what is meant by a relationship blindspot.
Blind-spots are very damaging to relationships and can destroy your peace of mind, your self-esteem — and your marriage, if you don’t learn to look for common blind spots — if you fail to see and shift these damaging dynamics — your marriage is at risk of being troubled by an affair or divorce proceedings. But if you work to uncover your blindspots and talk openly with your partner about your blindspots, and theirs — this can help save your marriage and bring it back to love.
Part of the reasons ‘relationship blindspots’ exist are:
- it’s very easy for us to notice the behavioural flaws in someone else (especially your day-in/day-out partners)
- it’s very hard to see them in ourselves
Blindspots can destroy a marriage
Blindspots can readily damage most relationships. Fortunately, the right form of couples coaching can bring insight to your blindspots — shining the light on what’s changed in your marriage often as a result of not seeing the blindspots — and assist with your relationship repair.
In fact in marriage counselling and relationship therapy, what I do is help partners discover the thoughts (mindsets) and behaviours they’ve adopted over time. I help them gently but rapidly discover what changed in their relationships when they went from an all-loving compassionate kindness and giving, to a “what was I thinking when I married [this person]??” attitude.
And it all comes down to loving acts, and loving thoughts, and turning yourselves around in what you’re choosing to focus on…easier said than done without the right guidance and the right support. But it IS possible for amazing marital turnarounds to keep your family and finances in tact, your retirement plan in place, and the children settled into the family home — with parents who finally figure out how to stop bickering, fighting and being nasty to one another.
If you’re interested in reading the book related to this blog topic, here is the link: www.deetozer.com/ebook-set
No matter what your relationship status is currently, chances are it once was loving, kind, considerate, respectful. But now, it seems that all you do is bicker.
Can you remember back to when you both felt totally in love, even enough to have children together and/or to marry?
Now, all you seem to do is:
- complain to friends about your significant other
- cold-shoulder each other
- withhold love and affection including sex
- roll your eyes when you see certain behaviours
- feeling your once-highly-loved-and-desired one is being entirely unreasonable
What changes in a relationship that leads it to enter a downwards spiral or pathway to divorce?
The answer is — a lot of things. These are the things that I help couples work out in relationship counselling and coaching for couples.
I also have resources for couples to help understand their behaviours, mindsets and underlying ‘sensitive points’ (trigger points) that lead to high levels of dissatisfaction in a marriage.
Counselling is also very discreetly in a private setting for high-profile couples, but both people in the relationship must have a genuine desire to save their marriages for this therapy to have the positive effects of ‘restoring loving kindness and respect’ in your relationship.
Relationship blindspots – what you can’t see and don’t know, until you do….
The top 5 blindspots in relationships in trouble may include:
- A loss of respect (criticism and putting your partner down)
- A loss of time devotion to the partner (too busy focusing on other things like business ventures, children, the gym, parents, etc)
- Control factors (the need to control everything and not giving your partner enough say in the marriage)
- Arrogance or stonewalling (refusing to listen, refusing to talk, or ignoring your partner for hours or days at a time)
- Lost sexual attraction without effort to restore sexual intimacy (yes, it can be restored — with the right mindset and commitment to the marriage — and it can lead to more beautiful experiences again in your marriage)
Contact me below for discreet marriage counselling and coaching.
Or watch my video below, describing HOW to get through the unreasonableness and remain on good terms.
There’s a simple way to manage unreasonableness. It’s anti-logic so you won’t be doing this but if you see where these strategies can assist, it’ll come in handy.
So here is the link to the full set of 4 ebooks – all for just $7! Not even 2 cups of ordinary coffee.
Or some people prefer a chat with me to suss out if they like me and feel I really “get” them. This call is absolutely FREE. You do need to book the call though to ensure you get a time that suits you and you can Book your call with me
WARNING! What is at stake if you don’t take action now? What do you have to lose if things keep going even more downhill?
What is there to gain by having that call with me?